How to help your relationship survive a new baby: A Postpartum Plan for Couples

Many couples spend lots of time preparing for birth, but a postpartum plan can help couples explore their needs, hopes and wishes even before baby arrives!   Most people will agree that postpartum can bring tremendous challenges to a relationship. It can be hard to know what to talk about in advance to make that transition easier. Below are some simple, yet meaningful questions to get couples talking about the upcoming changes & ways to work together during the early days of parenting. This exercise works best if you do it separately, then share your responses after.

Postpartum Plan for Couples: This is a sentence completion exercise. Write down your first thought.

1. How do you envision yourself as a new parent? (include things you consider positive as well as potential challenges)
2. How do you envision your partner as a parent? (include things you consider positive as well as potential challenges for your partner)
3. Of this list, do you anticipate any will be a challenge for your relationship after baby is born?
4. Becoming parents will change our relationship, and I imagine my partner will be more_____ towards me.
5. I think I will be___________towards my partner.
6. As a new mother or father, I am most concerned about:
7. I think my partner is most concerned about:
8. I’m envisioning baby care will be shared in this way (include daytime care, night-time care, & evening hours)
9. I think my partner envisions sharing childcare in this way:
10. When my parents become grandparents, I expect them to be:
11. When my partners parents become grandparents I expect think they will be:
12. During the time-consuming first year of our baby’s first life I know I’ll have to make sacrifices.

• What I will miss the most is:
• I think my partner will miss the most is:
• I hope I am able to continue too:
• I hope my partner is able to continue too:

13. When I get alone time for myself I would want to do (list 3 activities that give you joy):
14. When my partner has alone time I hope he/she can do (list 3 activities):
15. When we have time for a date, or moments without the baby I hope we can (list 3 activities):
16. Noticing the support that is available to you is important to acknowledge, so when things becoming overwhelming you can find the support you need to take care of yourself, your partner and your relationship. Remember it takes a village to raise a child.  Who are some women with children you can call on when overwhelmed, or need advice?   At 2 am?
17. What are some exercises that you can do with your baby/(children)?
18. List 5 favorite quick meals
19. List 5 favorite quick snacks
20. List some ways your parents raised you that you are now grateful for and would like to offer to your new growing family.
21. List some things you’ll do differently from your parents.
22. What are 3 things you can do without words to show your partner you are grateful for them?

If you want to learn more, join our Birthing From Within classes for a personalized, mindful approach to birth & postpartum preparation.

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