Why you might not want to come for a session…

It’s true, most people wait until they are really struggling to call me, and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, sometimes, there is a hesitation or procrastination, that stops people from reaching out sooner. I often ask clients what made them reach out now, and what stopped them from calling sooner?

Here are the reasons I hear the most…..

1. I thought I had to really be breaking down to call you. I was managing ok.

It’s true, often we are handling life….but counseling can help you enjoy life, not just survive it! Often we aren’t aware of how hard we are trying to cope with day to day challenges, until we feel like things are falling apart. It’s a great idea to treat your mental health, just like your physical health. Be proactive. Address issues and challenges before they get too big.

2. I didn’t want to admit I was not “handling things”

First of all, “handling things” is over-rated. We learn from many sources (including our own parents), that self-care is less important than the tasks that need to be done. An essential task of becoming a full-functioning human, is to learn when to step back and assess ourselves/our life/our relationships, and make small (or big changes) accordingly. Sometimes a simple change in mindset, changes everything. Counselling is just that.

Imagine if you grew up in a family where you were taught how to feel good, while you were managing your obligations?… Where you were taught how to manage the challenges of  everyday relationships in a healthy way? What skills would you have acquired to maintain your well-being? That’s what counseling can teach you. Learn to “handle things” in healthy ways.

3. I thought counselling was just for people who have a “mental illness”: Seeking counseling doesn’t always mean you are suffering from anxiety or depression, or any other condition. In fact, I don’t even label the symptoms my clients bring forward, nor do we focus on any kind of scoring or assessment. We just have a conversation. We talk about your experience. What does it feel like to be you, right now? What would you like it to feel like?

4. I don’t want to “talk about my childhood” or “feel embarrassed by showing my emotions to a stranger. I’m a private person”:

I respect that. In fact, I would say that there is often more laughter in my sessions than tears. My focus tends to be more on the present and the future, than exhaustive digging into your past. The past can be interesting, and might shed light on some patterns, but most of our time is focused on creating more of what you want in your life.

…..and when it comes to sharing emotions, you can share as much or as little as you want to in a given session. You decide if you feel comfortable with me and what kind of pace feels good to you. I hope that our relationship will help you feel more love and compassion towards the emotions that are tricky for you to express. We can work on ways to express yourself with greater honesty, while maintaining healthy boundaries.

If you are on the fence, feel free to reach out and talk ….call me directly at 647-456-2229 or send an email to info@neliadeamaral.com

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